In ‘A Room of One’s Own’ Viriginia Woolf promotes women having their own room so that they can explore their creative selves to their hearts content. When a dear, dear friend bought it for me I really related to it. How many of you have your own room? I know that I certainly don’t. There’s the study but it’s shared. Everything is shared, and somewhere along the line of getting married and having kids I’ve lost my own space, and that space is certainly more than physical. It’s a sense of self, a sense of inner space, space to be myself.

I would call that space sacred space. Maybe some of us never have that kind of space. I sure want it though and I try and create it in many different ways. One of my most sacred spaces is coffee shops. Where I can sit by myself someone serves me coffee and I can write or read. To make that moment truly sacred I turn my phone off. (Okay I admit I’m a crackberry addict and this is an extremely hard thing for me to do – sometimes, sometimes I turn my dear darling phone off.) Another sacred space is 6am in the morning where if I’m truly disciplined I do some yoga (the Salutation of the Sun is a lovely, easy sequence to remember and do. I have a friend who does it in 10 rounds every morning – if only I did that I’m often too groggy craving sleep.)

Sacred space can also be in the mind – talking to oneself (I know first sign of a crazy person – but maybe we should start exploring the other side of ‘sanity’ if sane isn’t doing it for us.) and nurturing the mind to create space for the self with those lovely positive affirmations like… ‘I am beautiful, I am worthy, I do deserve to sit down and have a cup of tea, I am not going to lose it at this instant because it’s a small, yes irritating, but small issue like my 2 year old insisting he wears undies this morning and after being taken to the toilet promptly making a wee at the breakfast table and this with all the pre-school morning stressing rush. Being aware of the mind is truly sacred – I’m not there yet I’m told it’s a journey – and as far as I can see it’s a lifetime one.

Another sacred space can be, and don’t laugh at me, the bathroom. Noone can enter there and if your 2 year old runs after you – as mine does – sneak in when they can’t see you and make sure your lock works. A bath is sacred as is a shower. And there is the sacred space of the body a walk, a yoga class.

Sacred space can be in a group. My friend scrap books on a Thursday night with friends. I have a writing group, there are Rosh Chodesh groups etc and if you don’t have a group start one.

Now Virginia Woolf didn’t have any children and she killed herself, so I don’t know if she’s our best example. But she did pinpoint a woman’s need to have her own space, her own self. How we lose it on the way in wifehood and motherhood is a whole nother blog (eventually day by day we can get through all the other blog topics that I raise so keep reading and commenting) but what we do know is that if Woolf felt it how much more so modern day mothers with all our feminist pressures and male ones, patriarchal ones, and more than likely our own ones. (Yes another blog)

So our challenge is to make a sacred space for ourselves. Right a list of things you love and commit to some. Bit by bit, five minutes by five minutes you can create your special sanctuary. I’ve begun and it’s certainly made me a better (mind you not perfect) wife and mum. So now I’m going to go into my preordained santuary called the kitchen and make my son his birthday cake in the shape of a snake just like he asked. And yes baking can be (if not forced or from place of have to) a sacred space.