I woke up this morning to my Crackberry and glanced through my Facebook newsfeed. Some like it on the dining room table, some like it everywhere, some like it on the car bonnet. If you don’t get it – don’t worry neither did I (my mind wandered a bit). It’s an initiative for Breast Cancer Awareness and it’s a game where you say where you put your handbag/purse when you get home. So the game has begun and it’s quite funny and I’m sure the men are already wondering what the… Last year was bra colours and it made it to the news. Hope this one does too so go on your facebook and tell us where you like it! Although notably this has offended people and I get why but I really enjoyed a good laugh!

What’s also appeared on my newsfeed is a friend saying, ‘I’ve lost the laundry war.’ Another one says, ‘it’s been a hard night.’ Sound like anyone out there? (Okay I know anyone who is lucky enough to live in South Africa doesn’t really worry about laundry. Unless you’re a maid. And my maid may very well be posting – ‘I’ve lost the laundry war, the cooking war and the kiddie war.’)

The advantage of Facebook social networking is that mom’s can share what they’re going through. Maybe I should use it more as well in that way. We all have hard nights and lose all sorts of battles. Some of us have ADD or ADHD battles to fight. Others have postnatal depression battles. Others work and home juggling acts. Even in-law battles, personal self fulfillment battles. Stuff that happens that we need to deal with, small and big.

When we see a friend, a fellow school mum, or just another woman we ask ‘How are you?’ and it’s the universal answer, ‘Fine thank you.’ It’s the generic, safe answer. What people want to hear. I’ve answered out of the box on some cold winter mornings with ‘Well actually I’m ready to quit my job as a mom, will you take my kids?’ Because that’s what I feel when the morning rush is particularly brutal with the Princes refusing to budge from their cocoons let alone get dressed by themselves and eat a healthy breakfast. In response I got weird looks and some surprise because where was the ‘fine thank you and how are you’ response, and yes I got some laughs. The best reply I got was from my friend Tanya who said, ‘I also find it hard.’

YYYYeeeessss, I’m not alone in that struggle of getting the kids to school by 745 am. (Advice for anyone with kids not in primary school yet. Take it easy in the mornings you have 12 years at least of getting up at the crack of dawn, nagging, scrambling for uniforms – I know you’re meant to get it ready the night before but I confess I sometimes don’t – racing through breakfast and shuttling off to school all with a loving, cheery smile for your sweet angels.) It was the validation I needed and I suspect what every other mum needs. So when I said to a friend over my decadent Cacao drink at Greenside Café in Greenside (great organic, veggie, healthy place to hang out with wonderful coffee), that I had a hard time with my second prince when he was born. (The short of it is that in his first week of life he was dripped in the foot (and they often missed) twice a day on antibiotics and a month later had a virus which had him dripped again and in hospital for 5 days) She said, ‘Wow I would have found that terrible. I nodded my head, yes it was hard and I had never really processed it as a trauma, which it definitely was as had been confirmed this week by a top child therapist and linked to the challenges that he faces now. (A whole other blog on how babies are really formed in that first year for life more than we realise – I will, will get back to these topics. I need to write a list.) The point is that validation is part of the processing, the healing, the being able to deal with what is. Because it means we’re not alone!!!

And that usually is the case. We’re not alone as mums. There’s nothing new under the sun and someone has gone through what we have and can if not teach us, share with us and at least validate us. For we are part of the greater whole and as I’m learning we’re not meant to be islands. We’re meant to reach out and support each other, and create that more connected kind of environment so that we and our children live in a better kind of world. A supportive world, not a secretive, closed, plastic world where everything looks like chocolate on the outside but when you break in its just air, like those big wonderful looking Easter bunnies. (Am I the only one who’s ever expected those big eggs and bunnies to be solid chocolate all the way through and experienced bitter disappointment as a child?) It’s okay to have a hard time and share it in a contained way. It’s not okay to be all alone as mothers, and somehow I have a feeling that there are many who feel that way. I know I’ve been through times where I have.

I’ve dealt with fat the other day and now I’m dealing with the secret loneliness of women and the need for validation. Touchy, touchy topics. I will talk about the weather next blog – Joburg magical afternoon storms like today.

We are so up for a recipe – food definitely lightens things up.  After a blog about fat I’ve decided to opt for a healthy meal kind of recipe. This is a full proof salmon recipe (as long as you don’t over salt). It’s one of my easy meals which can even be served at a dinner party if you buy a whole side of salmon. This recipe introduced Cajun spice to me and to be honest it’s the only recipe I even use it in. Don’t estimate the power of it – it really gives the fish a tasty kick.

Serve with yellow rice (what’s that? – another recipe… ask for it if you want it and I’ll post it.) or potatoes in their jackets and fresh veggie salad, as you wish.

EASY 5 minute to prepare Cajun Seared Salmon

Ingredients

Fillets of Salmon – as many portions as you need.

Lemon

Olive Oil

Cajun Spice or Louisiana Cajun Spice if you want it spicy

Salt + Pepper

Method

  1. Preheat oven on High Grill
  2. Put Salmon on a tray skin down and squeeze lemon over it
  3. Baste Salmon with Olive Oil
  4. Sprinkle with Cajun Spice + Salt + Pepper (Don’t over salt)
  5. Turn Salmon over so skin is on top and repeat steps 2-4
  6. Place under Grill (skin up – The skin is nice and crispy when grilled but don’t worry if your salmon has no skin) for about 15 – 20 minutes depending on how well you liked it cooked. If it’s very fresh then you can lightly sear it which is delicious.