I would say that every girl, woman, mother needs a sister. One at least, preferably more. But we don’t all have sisters and even if we do we don’t always get on. So what do you do?

Firstly the importance of having a sister is that we women need a ‘sisterhood’. It’s more than just a passing friendship it’s a female support group. A safe place to go when you’re feeling down. A place to take comfort in and be cheered on as you take life’s unknown steps. A lovely garden of love where your best interests are at heart. Where you can share your dreams and fears, where you can get feedback for when you’re dancing up the wrong tree. (Don’t ever underestimate the importance of honest feedback. We all need a bit of a wake up call sometime. I had one today with an email from my cousin with the best advice ever!)

But that’s what husbands are for isn’t it? I used to think that too. Until someone very wise told me that I’m driving my husband nuts! He didn’t want to hear every detail about my tribulations in the school car park, he didn’t get my issues with certain people and situations. Not that he wasn’t interested or caring, but he thought differently. He gave solutions not empathy. And the fact of the matter is a husband is a best friend, (a best enemy too sometimes), a lover and so much more, but they’re not a woman and they don’t neccessrily understand and feed that girl inside all of us the way another woman can.

So onto the establishment of a sisterhood. Maybe you already have a bunch of friends who you cherish and who cherish you. Maybe you have a close sister who’s the bosom buddy of Anne of Green Gables days. And maybe you don’t. If you don’t well it’s time to aggressively begin. And I do mean aggressively (although not in that meat tearing tiger way) because more often than not there may be that empty hole that’s eating away at you without you even realising it.

Sisterhood’s nurture the nurturers. A concept that isn’t prevalent enough. In the old days (my grandmother’s time in Baghdad to be precise) I imagine women hanging out together in the kitchen spooning wisdom, jokes and tears as they whipped up their gastronomic creations/ sometimes experiments together. We don’t have that relaxed village lifestyle anymore (I know there were obviously olden day challenges too but do let me romantacise for now) There are some things that only our soul sisters can share with us.

Soul sisters are obviously something you have to choose wisely. I would surmise that it’s a joined frequency – where your energies collide into something fun and timeless when you’re together. For some people it may be their book club, for others, moms in their child’s class. Look and choose. And if you like them often they will like you. I would even discuss the concept with these ‘chosen ones’ and if they get it – well full steam ahead.

But we don’t have time for friends in our frenetic mommy lives. I also used to argue that and that’s why it’s important to pursue sisterhoods aggressively ie. MAKE TIME. Use Einsteins quantum physics, bend reality, prioritise and just do it. The coffee, the walk, the night out on the town. The spontaneous get together with a whole bunch of girls that you value. Let your friends meet – see what happens.

More often that not when women get together there’s  fun, sharing and learning. Something special happens. At the very least if there’s not magical being then there’s practical sharing. As Rabbi Twerski once said that when men talk it’s just fluffy, meaningless nonsense like sport, politics that they can’t solve etc. When women speak amongst themselves we share information. Much needed information, like recipes, where to shop for funky clothes, the latest research on if mother’s should stay at home.

Like the other day I was sitting with my good friend for a smoothie (had to have a caffeine break) and she was telling me about her  inspiring break through with her Tiger purring five-year-old. Needless to say I took on what she said and was a better mom that afternoon with my Princes. NO joke, not a happy, clappy see I can do it assertion. But it’s just the product of sisterhood getting together.

We women and mothers are a minefield of support and valuable gems in and of ourselves. All we have to do is get together. So go out there and choose wisely – a positive group of women who will ‘rah rah’ you on in this marathon journey we call life.