I so should not be writing. I should be packing. I should be putting all the things together for our holiday so it all goes as smoothly as possible without the last-minute panic attacks. But I’m not. I’m sitting by a half packed suit case and would much rather be writing, meditating, yogaing, escaping.

What is it about holidays that is so stressful. I understand a mother of seven who told me that she prefers to stay home for the holidays. Going away is too much effort. Now I’m a firm believer that the effort is worth it. Well worth it. But at the same time I’m pondering about the highs and lows, the vacillations between utter despair at having to organise everything (from house sitters, bills paid, to  sun cream packed – okay I know it doesn’t sound so bad.) to the utter delight at the sight of the sea.

The seesaws of life. I wish there was better cushioning. Like yesterday was a fabulous day with a fabulous women’s chilling event that I helped organise. It was fun meeting new people, hearing other people’s stories. Drinking milkshakes (okay I admit it I was way to wired to drink a milk shake.) Thanks to everyone who came! But then the low, the loooowwww. Did anyone else have a low? I think next time I do a women’s event we’re going to sleep over at the hotel and then have an entire day at the spa and then have a debrief session where we are taught how to deal with going back to reality.

And lets face it the reality of the hum drum details of being a mother and running a family (I don’t even want to go into the details of being a working mom as well!) is just plain exhaustingly tedious. And the lack of appreciation and recognition!

Okay what was so bad about my day today – what was my low? It was losing my cell phone – I was fine until then. I even thought I was fineish when I lost it. But I wasn’t. Everything came toppling down on me. All I had to do. (All the stuff I had avoided doing like figuring out how to put my contacts on my Mac. I tried once – do you think it worked? No.) And the mind talk – of ‘how could you lose your phone!’ My dear father in law reminded me of this when I got home and I LOST it. Seriously the flood gates of being a ‘stupid female’, useless of course, opened.

Well I’m a bit better now. Half packed and yes we will get on the plane and I will get all my contacts back on my phone (you can start Facebooking and smsing me now) – and the lesson learnt, the meaning of today is… that there is darkness after the light. And I hope to step back into the light tomorrow of sea and sunshine and hopefully not too much forgotten in the darkness.

Now I really want to know – how many of you does that happen to – have a fabulous time and then Wham Bam Kazaam – the not nice reality of a lost phone hits. And yes I know it could be much much worse (although this isn’t any phone, this is my beloved blackberry, without which I would not have been able to organise anything), and yes I’m VERY grateful for my life, but there is a weird pattern here and to be honest it was like I was expecting something to happen today. The universe obliged. I need to change the pattern I really, really do!!!! Starting now.

Happy Holidays Everyone!