I’ve gained 2 kilos on a no sugar, no wheat, no dairy diet. HOW??? Because I don’t like feeling deprived. So unconsciously I ate double – of everything I was allowed of course. If I was to form the 10 commandments for Women I’d put, ‘Thou shall not go on a diet. Because in the end it will just make you fat.’ I’m not the only one who says so… Geneen Roth of ‘Women, Food and God’ agrees as does Martha Beck in the 4 day win. (Which I’ve previously mentioned.)

What really bothers me is that my intuition was not to ever go on a diet again. Especially after my teenage yo-yo dieting experiences which never worked. I logically justified that I was going on a diet for ‘health’ so it wasn’t really a diet. Well it didn’t work and I should have gone with that little voice in me that said, ‘This is way too much.’ Instead I nuked it with egoistic sayings like, ‘More power to me for staying on a diet for so long. Having such self-discipline etc. etc.’ All those good qualities which were not good for me.

So another commandment for my women’s big 10 – ‘Thou shall follow your intuition.’ How many of us have listened to the bigger ‘other’ be it a doctor, an authority figure, even a mother (dare I say mother-in-law) instead of listening to our ‘little voices’. Only to end up right in the end. But it’s too late. Sometimes it can be at a big cost like the health of a child or a bad life decision (like who to marry – it has happened!!! How many brides stand under the canopy and think, ‘This is not right.’) Smaller costs can be losing out on a great employee. This happened to me when I wanted to hire a gardener. Big mistake listening to the ‘other’ voices in my life, instead of my own. We’ve gone through 3 (lazy) gardeners since. Our current one I chose and it’s been great so far. Hold thumbs.

The problem is it’s not so easy following your own voice. Sometimes it’s hard to hear it let alone listen to it.

Hearing Your Inner Voice – I did an intuition course this weekend with a spiritual healer through massage, intuit, and wonderful, generous woman, Adie Shub. I didn’t really know what I was in for to be honest. How do you teach intuition? And that’s the exact problem that Adie raised to introduce her session. She shared her journey to where she is now. How she denied her healing abilities and that life route until she was badly burnt on her face and hands (dropping roast beef on herself from a super high oven – be careful girls). The universe sends us messages and if we follow them life flows and if we don’t we get thrown major challenges which try redirect us in the direction we’re meant to go. So Adie learnt to follow her intuition and universal signs and this is what she teaches.

So after that long-winded paragraph what did I learn?  To be still, to be quiet and connect to all five senses. Once you’re connected to your five senses you can align yourself with your sixth sense – intuition. So it means being still, breathing deeply. Listening to what sounds you can hear around you, relaxing your tongue feeling it in your mouth. Seeing with your eyes even if you choose to close them. Feeling the weight of your hands, your feet, your body. Just being.

You can do it in the car in head banging traffic (instead of banging your head – much  better for your cortisol levels), in the car park waiting for kids or in those notorious bank queues. (I am forever grateful for efts) And you can even ask yourself questions. Connect to that higher self, that inner wisdom and just see what comes up. It’s using your right brain, it’s going beyond the logical left that can bend any truth into any shape except what may be good for you. It can justify anything, but it may not feel right. You know how we speak about that gut feeling.

With cellphones, computers and rushing around all day we do lose that quiet space. One way to regain it is first thing in the morning. By waking up a  bit earlier and taking that time to meditate or pray. Adie whipped out a kabbalah morning prayer book (even though she’s not orthodox) and guess what – it was the siddur. She said that these prayers are so powerful, especially the 18 morning blessings. I thought that was amazing. These words that I know like the back of my hand, that I’ve said since five years old are being taught in an intuition course. So there’s something there. We know that, feel it, but don’t always connect with it.

So morning prayers!!! I know when I’ve taken the time to wake up twenty minutes early it makes a WORLD of different. Kid free silence. To breathe.

And before we go to bed is another time to reintegrate ourselves. Connect to our day. Let go of all the negative and embrace an attitude of gratitude. When I do this I also feel so much better – and when I don’t (and a lot of times I do feel bummed out) well I don’t. It’s going to bed unprepared for the soul to reconnect. But it does anyway. (Here I should mention that we all aim for the ideal – I certainly do – but rarely reach it. Being happy with as is, is my challenge.)

So the course was a wakeup call to prayer, to meditate, to listen carefully to that inner voice that I do believe is connected to our divine source. We all have it, after all we’re all created in God’s image. And somehow I feel we women know that best. It’s in our very bones, our monthly cycles and our life-giving forces.

The only danger is – when we stop feeling, intuiting and stop being emotional. In a man’s world there’s no room for feeling, only logic. How do we like the man’s world we’re living in? It’s a scary place…. I hate reading the newspapers. So we need to try something else. After all madness is doing the same thing over and over again hoping for different results.

So it’s time for the feminine. Intuition, feeling, mining inner resources, rather than conquering the external. It’s about connection. Viva La Femme. And I’m not the only one who says so. This is a growing trend.

I listened to the late Rabbi Azriel Goldfein shiur about women and he agrees with this very point. He brought sources from the matriarchs, prophetesses and powerful women in the Tanach and concluded that the way forward is for the world to move into the feminine wisdom and strength. We need nurturing now as a planet, as communities and as individuals. The only problem is that we women tend to forget to nurture ourselves.

Nurturing – another topic. Feeling is this one. So the right to feel. Sad, glad, joyous and really feel it and express it and moreover be heard and validated by yourself and others around you. I went to an Eve Ensler (she wrote Vagina Monologues) play based on her book, ‘Emotional Creature’ (yes I’ve been around town – Market Theatre Laboratory to be precise!!!! It was an inspiring, uplifting production.) and one of the main themes was for women to accept themselves as they are and to be accepted as different in their own feminine power.

Now all this can sound a bit gobbledy gook as we say in Australia. (Do you say it in South Africa???) Lovely sounding concepts. We all believe in feelings and our inner voice. We don’t all do what we believe. So baby steps. Feel what you feel like for dinner. Feel what your toddler is feeling. Feel what you’re feeling is probably even the best place to start. ‘Hello sadness.’ And just feel it. Some people believe just by sitting with a feeling we let it pass through. As all does pass.

So there’s a time for war, there’s a time for peace. There’s a time for male and there’s a time for female. We women have proven we can be just as good as men. How about now being women? Mothers, nurturers, feelers and taking that into the work place, our homes, the government, the streets and see what happens. It’s worth a try.