A thought has been going through my head ever since Rosh Hashana. Hear no evil, see no evil.

This is because of a passing comment my father in law made. He said, ‘What is the evil eye? It’s a single eye that has limited vision of another person’s life. It looks only at one part of a person’s life, instead of the whole picture.’ For example seeing a person’s car, or house and being jealous of that, or labeling a person in one’s mind.

How many times have I done this? Not given the evil eye (I sincerely hope) but looked at another person and assumed all sorts of things. Only to learn about the person’s whole life and see that this woman is smiling despite being a widow, or having an autistic child. Sometimes we look at the Louis Vuitton handbag, and don’t see the hideous child hood that person’s had.

In general we don’t walk about with life’s black and blue bruises on our face for all to see. Yet we’re often tunnel visioned when we look at others, and even when we look at ourselves. A perfect example of this was this morning. I happily went off to do my Vitality assessment at Dischem. (My hubbie is determined to rack up points.) I knew that my weight would be a bit up, but I wasn’t expecting to have high cholesterol, even though the nurse said I would have high cholesterol as a breast feeding mum. ‘I’ve never had high cholesterol,’ I cheerfully answered. But what do you know, I had high cholesterol and a tad bit higher BMI than I should have. The questionnaire asks if you’re pregnant. It doesn’t ask if you’re breastfeeding. Without breastfeeding and the fact I’ve just had a baby fitting into the equation, I ended up with the health age of a 36 year old. (I’m all of 31.)

Big OUCHY OUCH!

This is what happens when you don’t look at a person’s whole picture. We have skewed vision, skewed age, skewed reality.

So part of my commitment of leaping into love with myself has been to practice having All Seeing Eyes, rather than the ‘evil eye’ with myself and others around me. So I’m not going on a Nazi diet (yet) and I’m not going to worry about my cholesterol until I stop breast feeding. I’m going to look at where I am now, where I’ve come from and cut myself ALOT of slack.

Doesn’t the image of the ‘evil eye’ invoke shivers down your back? Or is it just mine. I come from an Iraqi family where everyone is very superstitious. I think it’s the reason I don’t post photos of the Princes in general. It just doesn’t feel right. (Although I love everyone else posting…so maybe I do need to begin again at least on Face Book.) I’m used to my grandmother putting salt in my pockets when I’m pregnant, being told not to wear black and under no circumstances standing out in any way from the crowd. I actually don’t think it’s the healthiest attitude, but it does imbue me with a sensitivity to what others are thinking and feeling around me. (Maybe a bit of an oversensitivity.)

Another thing that’s come up, besides the ‘evil eye’, is that I’m learning that not everyone likes me. This is such a no brainer, how can everyone like everyone? But it’s struck a nerve. A raw nerve. Okay a very raw nerve, and I bled for a bit over that one. How can everyone not like me???? The only thing that makes me feel better is when I honestly ask myself, ‘Do I like everyone?’ The answer is, although it’s hard to admit, NO.

Admitting these things to myself is empowering. It’s accessing my shadow self, so that I don’t have to be Miss Perfect or Miss Let Me Please You. Which I am unconsciously. So much so, that I even try to please my children. A fact that was gently shoved in my face, during a parental guidance session. (Accompanied by tears of course.) I was told that I need to take back my power. So I’m working on it….

I really recommend reading Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, if you want to get in touch with your shadow self.

Talking about books, I’ve read a fabulous MUST READ book called, My Father’s Paradise by Ariel Sabar. It’s about the Jews of Kurdistan (Northern Iraq) and their forced immigration to Israel. But it’s also much more than that. It’s the story of a displaced ancient people, the early days of Israel, and most of all a poignant father-son relationship. It’s beautifully written, and well worth having on your shelf. (Rather than kindle. Although I love my kindle.)

The magazine of this month for me is the Woolworth’s TASTE magazine. I loved the white chocolate cake on the cover so much, that I bought it and made it twice. It’s a winner of a recipe. We call it ‘The Delicious’ cake at our house. It’s made of yoghurt and cardamom and heaps of white chocolate. You can’t beat that combination.

Now that I’ve chatted about cake I need to include a new recipe for Apple Cake, that my sister in law got from a friend. It’s very moist and milk free, but served with freshly whipped cream it’s amazing.

Love this Apple Cake

Best Apple Cake

3 cups flour
1 tblsp baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups sugar (I put 1 1/2 cups of sugar, because I find it a bit too sweet)
1 cup oil
4 eggs
2 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup orange or lemon juice
2 or 3 apples sliced very thin (you can leave peel)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup sugar

Place first 8 ingredients in mixing bowl. Beat until smooth. Pour half batter into greased springform tin. Sprinkle with cin and sugar. Arrange half the apples on top then sprinkle with more cinnamon and sugar. Repeat.
Bake at 160 c for 60 mins. Don’t overbake – should be moist.
Delicious served with vanilla ice- cream and strawberries.

Enjoy Eating!!!