I’ve gone on holiday from my blog…. EEk is that allowed? Somehow in going on holiday with the Princes and hubbie, I’ve gone on holiday from myself. No yoga, no writing and no blogging. Boogie boarding, sand in toes and hair and searching for cozzies were the order of the day for the last three weeks. (The other two weeks were spent trying to get ready for holiday and wrap up school.) In going on holiday I went a bit mad. No schedule, no space for myself to keep me sane. I never knew I relied on my mad Joburg schedule to keep me sane.

On holiday I find myself shopping for food, cooking said food and searching for cozzies, as previously mentioned. But that’s not what drove me into ‘unhappy’ mode for the first week of our lovely beach, fun in the sun, holiday. What drove me mad was myself. My own need to have my own space so I can write, blog and be peacefully alone. By the second week I had improved somewhat, by accepting that we were on a ‘family holiday’, not a writing retreat. By the third week, I said, ‘to hell, I’ll wait to go back to Johannesburg’, and I threw myself into the crashing waves with the best of the Princes boogie boards.

I’m now back in Johannesburg. I’ve been back for three days and I’m still going mad. My To Do list is as expansive as the sea that I’ve left behind. To write this I’ve locked myself in the study so that I’ll finally write a blog post. It’s worked. I’m feeling better already. Just sitting and doing, taking the time out and ignoring all else, especially little Princes.

I thought I’d learnt by now, that children are the best excuses not to do, and its not an excuse. As a mother I have a duty to carve my time out as selfishly and heartlessly as…as my husband. He ran on holiday, caught up on his work and read his book very peacefully. He was also a much more fabulous, happy parent then I was. (Hard to admit but it’s true. Although he did have full nights sleep which I don’t have the luxury of these days.)

Julia Cameron writes in her book, ‘Walking in This World’ – ‘When I was a young single mother, I felt guilty because I craved time away from my daughter. I wanted silence. I needed to hear my own thoughts. I also needed to take my own soul by the hand occasionally and not have to worry about keeping my daughter’s tiny hand clutched. Whatever dreams I harbored had better take the back burner….’ An older woman friend advised her, “Take a night off. Take care of your artist. That will make you a much better mother. You need to get in reality here. Society tells you motherhood comes first, but-with you -it doesn’t. If you’re honest about that and put your artist first, you might be quite a good mother. Lie to yourself about it -and did you know most child abuse come from too much togetherness.”

So my new years resolution is to empower myself and my time, and not go around feeling so guilty every time I take time out. Yes kids are the best distraction from fulfilling ourselves. It’s also never-ending. The kid duties will always be there. There’s never enough time for them. So I’m going to make sure to take some time out for me, especially on holiday.

But to end this post on many happy high notes I’m going to list some of my best moments of my holiday, what pulled me through it, because at the end of the day, it was a fabulous holiday, good quality fun, and luckily it’s not over yet. We have another one and a half homework free weeks.

Best Holiday Read – The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I loved this trilogy. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but the books are riveting, despite being a bit gory. I love, love, love the twist at the end and the overall comment on governments. Be careful, it’s addictive reading.

Best Inspirational Read – The Happiness Project – By Gretchen Rubin 

This is an amazing book by a mom who looks to make her ‘happy’ life consciously ‘happier’. I thought at first that she’s too organised and methodical in her approach, but having got more than half way through it (it’s quite an exhausting read, as I realise how much I’m not doing that perhaps I should be doing), it’s brilliant what she accomplishes. I love her insights. This is a book to read slowly, savour and learn from.

Best Series – Downton Abbey – I love, love, love Downton Abbey. We watched the third series and the Christmas edition, which ended terribly, be warned. Love the costumes, and the characters and the period piece that it is. Tried to watch the Homeland series, but is it just me or is it way too hectic?

Amazing Sights – One thing I’ve always enjoyed on holiday is the view. I love the glorious sunsets by the beach, the ever-changing hues of colour in the sea. Walking on the beach and taking it all in!

Featherbed Nature Reserve Hike Knysna

Featherbed Nature Reserve Hike Knysna

Growing old together on the beach. Most romantic image.

Growing old together on the beach. Most romantic image.

Cricket on the Beach - Proving Aussies can really bat well, even if they are female!
Cricket on the Beach – Proving Aussies can really bat well, even if they are female!

New Year's Eve Cape Coloured singers and musicians serenading at a cafe. They were brilliant!

New Year’s Eve Cape Coloured singers and musicians serenading at a cafe. They were brilliant!

And a magnificent sunset....

And a magnificent sunset….

 

Looking back, there are always good and bad moments on holiday. Enjoying, relishing and reminiscing the good is the happier choice. It makes me wish I was back holidaying by the sea. So those of you who still are by the beach – enjoy!!!